The Poa Family and Brain Injury Northland

An incredible story of strength and love in the face of adversity

The Poa family has endured more than most in recent times and yet their bonds are as close and strong as ever they have been. This Northland family has faced adversity and heartache and is bravely getting through each day thanks to the wider support of whanau and the Brain Injury Association Northland.

Anthony (Tony) Poa suffered a brain injury in an assault on Oct 11, 2003 and ever since the dynamic of this tight knit and loving family has been changed, testing the strongest of bonds and changing the way they approach every day life, with even the most simplest things that in the past would be taken for granted having to be reassessed.

Tony’s wife Helen admits to being the rock for her family in recent times, but says that Brain Injury Northland has supported the Poa whanau through the hard times.“Brain Injury Northland has offered such great and wonderful support,” said Helen. “They have been the rock for me and my family, I will never forget the help they have given my family.

”I am honoured that we have been given this opportunity to share our story, especially with other Maori families that might be going through the same thing. By sharing our experiences we can empower and give others in the same situation that strength, to know that there is always at the end of the day, light at the end of the tunnel.”

Incredibly this amazing family has turned giver, helping out the Brain Injury Northland office when they were broken into recently. “Anything we can do for them is so small compared to what they have done for us. When they had their laptop stolen recently, Tony put a laptop together as a gift from our whanau to them, something we could give back to say thank you for your help, but what they have done is priceless.”

Tony and Helen’s 16 year old daughter Nikita explains in an incredibly honest and mature narrative for someone so young (Nikita was 11 at the time of the incident).

“An event that triggered a major change in my life was the event of my dad’s brain injury. It was a change that my family had to adapt to and it was a struggle at first but once we grasped the idea we were able to manage change and still go about our daily life but we had to make major adjustments here and there.

“I felt abandoned when I first realised that my dad had received a traumatic brain injury. I was shocked, confused and most of all upset. The internal factor that inhibited me from managing this significant change was the factor of resistance. I was resisting to talk to my dad or to even say hello. I was resistant about being near my dad because no matter what anyone said to me that was not my dad at all.

“I was sad and upset because of what had happened to my dad. Dealing with this sudden change was not something I expected to occur. The significance of this event was that it brought us closer together as a family and it really showed how much we love and care for each other, even though at times we have disagreements and upsets.”

A brain injury can impact on many people in different ways. Suddenly the friend or family member they knew has changed dramatically, it can be like getting to know a new person.”

Nikita and her family have indeed, with the help of Brain Injury Northland, come to understand how and the Kamo High School student wants to help others if she can. “As time passed I grew to accept my dad just how he was because at the end of the day he was still my loving, caring, kind and honest dad that he had always been except his circumstances had altered, which somewhat restricted the possibilities I could now create for both mine and my dad’s life.

“At the time I felt that I had been abandoned, even though both my parents were still physically there. However now I am grateful that my dad is still alive and here with me and I appreciate and cherish all the time that I get to spend with him.

Tony’s rehabilitation has seen him come a long way, to the point where he now is back in employment, working as Senior Computer Engineering Tutor. But most importantly for this tight knit Northland family, they are closer than ever despite the difficulty of the past few years.